Today many of us are remembering ten years ago when the twin towers went down or more likely known as "9/11" on that day many innocent people had their lives taken from them
America is wounded
We are a country who is still struggling with this crisis and how we need to Forgive the muslims, who did something that was wrong soon after many americans would treat other muslims badly and would pre-judge them because of what other muslims did now because we are wounded we blame other people we carry that baggage with us and we dwell upon it greatly till it disrupts our lives.When the twin towers came down at the time I was only 6 I didn't know what was happening and only remember that I was at school (private school at the time) when a teacher walked in and said that the twin towers were struck down by highjackers my teacher told the whole class to stop what they were doing and pray we did and that was all I remember.
Struck Down
I have struggled with other things that have wounded me. Back in the summer of 2008 I was at VBS at Saint Thomas we had a new pastor who was named Fr. Al he was quiet and unusal until during VBS he touched me in a way that was disurbing I went to my first youth event which I was forced into going I hated it and there Fr. Al took it too the next level and did something that traumatized me even more (not sexual but pysical) I told my parents what happened they didn't mess with it until that weekend when my mother felt she needed to report it we met with the Bishop and my family decided that we were to leave St. Thomas so we went to ICC.
Wounded
Since that has happened I have been scared of Men it is something I have to deal with it but at times I overreact because of Fr. Al I have Pre-Judged all men esspecialy priests I know I shouldn't pre-judge but it is so easy to do like americans who pre-judge the muslims like I pre-judge men. In Sirach 28:3-4 we read "Does a man harbor anger against another, and yet seek for healing from the Lord? Does he have no mercy toward a man like himself and yet pray for his own sins?" Meaning do I express my anger toward other people, seek for healing from the Lord yet ask for mercy for myself but not pray for Fr. Al and how he has sinned and harmed me? A year and a half later we came back to St. Thomas to be confirmed I had to go to a youth event called Youth night, when I first walked into that same room where Fr. Al touched me it hit me I hadn't been in that room since he touched me. I asked the Lord "please don't let it happen again please
I walked in and that night my first time I was scared totally and to defended myself I became angry at everyone because I didn't want to be harmed again. I think that might be the reason why no one talks to me even though I want them to. So now it has been a year since that first time I walked in and I'm even more scared partly because the room is full of men and the other half is because I fear going into the building where it happened.
Have I forgave him?
Yesterday I went up to ICC and went to confession the priest Fr. Rich ,who heard my confession, we talked about what happened with Fr. Al he gave me a pennance which I will try to apply to my life he mentioned 4 different virtues I only remember 3 of them for some reason wisdom to understand, temprance to control my anger or not try to overreact I forgot the third one and the last Paitence in things like struggling with Algebra (Grr I hate it Paitence Mylea) or the paitence to heal from what happened. In the gospel today Peter asked Jesus saying " Lord how many times must I forgive my brother who has sinned against me as many as seven times? Jesus replied "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven". from what this means to me the question "have I forgave him? well Fr.Rich said I should pray about it and yes i don't know the answer yet but just maybe it means to me that I need to let go of my anger forgive him and go on. But what about when I freak out and remember about it well maybe I should whenever I remember it forgive him even more who knows maybe just Seventy Times Seven.
Forgivness, Mercy, Love
Later I heard Fr. Rich's homily at mass and loved how he said we must first forgive someone of their wrong doing ,which is hard indeed, then we shall ask for Mercy if we recieve that then we are able to recieve God's Love abundantly. I pray that america can forgive those who brang down the twin towers ask for mercy and know that God Loves them even in times of suffering and remembrance.
Fear of relapse
I fear that I might relapse and something will happen again by another priest or man and so I'm always walking in fear which I would like to overcome. You might not know but the teorists planned today on the ten year aniversary of 9/11 to attack the train system in Chicago luckly we found out and it won't happen.
Healing
To get what has happened to me and to try to heal I have seeked counseling and will start soon for America through prayer and support we can accept and heal from 9/11.
I ask you to pray for America and ask that we heal as a nation from 9/11 I will be praying myself and also please pray for me as I heal from what has happened.
America is wounded
We are a country who is still struggling with this crisis and how we need to Forgive the muslims, who did something that was wrong soon after many americans would treat other muslims badly and would pre-judge them because of what other muslims did now because we are wounded we blame other people we carry that baggage with us and we dwell upon it greatly till it disrupts our lives.When the twin towers came down at the time I was only 6 I didn't know what was happening and only remember that I was at school (private school at the time) when a teacher walked in and said that the twin towers were struck down by highjackers my teacher told the whole class to stop what they were doing and pray we did and that was all I remember.
Struck Down
I have struggled with other things that have wounded me. Back in the summer of 2008 I was at VBS at Saint Thomas we had a new pastor who was named Fr. Al he was quiet and unusal until during VBS he touched me in a way that was disurbing I went to my first youth event which I was forced into going I hated it and there Fr. Al took it too the next level and did something that traumatized me even more (not sexual but pysical) I told my parents what happened they didn't mess with it until that weekend when my mother felt she needed to report it we met with the Bishop and my family decided that we were to leave St. Thomas so we went to ICC.
Wounded
Since that has happened I have been scared of Men it is something I have to deal with it but at times I overreact because of Fr. Al I have Pre-Judged all men esspecialy priests I know I shouldn't pre-judge but it is so easy to do like americans who pre-judge the muslims like I pre-judge men. In Sirach 28:3-4 we read "Does a man harbor anger against another, and yet seek for healing from the Lord? Does he have no mercy toward a man like himself and yet pray for his own sins?" Meaning do I express my anger toward other people, seek for healing from the Lord yet ask for mercy for myself but not pray for Fr. Al and how he has sinned and harmed me? A year and a half later we came back to St. Thomas to be confirmed I had to go to a youth event called Youth night, when I first walked into that same room where Fr. Al touched me it hit me I hadn't been in that room since he touched me. I asked the Lord "please don't let it happen again please
I walked in and that night my first time I was scared totally and to defended myself I became angry at everyone because I didn't want to be harmed again. I think that might be the reason why no one talks to me even though I want them to. So now it has been a year since that first time I walked in and I'm even more scared partly because the room is full of men and the other half is because I fear going into the building where it happened.
Have I forgave him?
Yesterday I went up to ICC and went to confession the priest Fr. Rich ,who heard my confession, we talked about what happened with Fr. Al he gave me a pennance which I will try to apply to my life he mentioned 4 different virtues I only remember 3 of them for some reason wisdom to understand, temprance to control my anger or not try to overreact I forgot the third one and the last Paitence in things like struggling with Algebra (Grr I hate it Paitence Mylea) or the paitence to heal from what happened. In the gospel today Peter asked Jesus saying " Lord how many times must I forgive my brother who has sinned against me as many as seven times? Jesus replied "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven". from what this means to me the question "have I forgave him? well Fr.Rich said I should pray about it and yes i don't know the answer yet but just maybe it means to me that I need to let go of my anger forgive him and go on. But what about when I freak out and remember about it well maybe I should whenever I remember it forgive him even more who knows maybe just Seventy Times Seven.
Forgivness, Mercy, Love
Later I heard Fr. Rich's homily at mass and loved how he said we must first forgive someone of their wrong doing ,which is hard indeed, then we shall ask for Mercy if we recieve that then we are able to recieve God's Love abundantly. I pray that america can forgive those who brang down the twin towers ask for mercy and know that God Loves them even in times of suffering and remembrance.
Fear of relapse
I fear that I might relapse and something will happen again by another priest or man and so I'm always walking in fear which I would like to overcome. You might not know but the teorists planned today on the ten year aniversary of 9/11 to attack the train system in Chicago luckly we found out and it won't happen.
Healing
To get what has happened to me and to try to heal I have seeked counseling and will start soon for America through prayer and support we can accept and heal from 9/11.
I ask you to pray for America and ask that we heal as a nation from 9/11 I will be praying myself and also please pray for me as I heal from what has happened.
Until Next Time this is Mylea Janis Teresa
Saying God Bless, Be Joyful and Don't Forget to Pray!
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